A Few Thoughts on France



Don't believe what you hear--the French are not rude. But they are a serious people, and they dress in a way that makes participation in nonsense seem tragic, so I suppose they avoid it. I have met many french folk who are apologetic for their lack of English skills. Please! I say. Or, rather, "see voo play! Mon français c'est plus mal."

When I explain in five odd French words that I'm going to Prague to my Airbnb host, she makes a face that seems at first like she hates it there. Then she says "quelle jolie," or someting, and I realize she is just pained by the fondness of her memories there. "Beware of pick pockets" she says in French, miming a sneaky hand, "Oh yes?" I pretend that this is news to me, so we can celebrate a bit of conversation.

I keep hearing people playing trap music out of their iphone in public, just for the ambiance. The speaker is so bad, it just sounds like the stuttering clicks of a child's toy, mixed with some dark-clapping and the shadow of a human voice, muttering some intense warning. I don't understand choosing to listen to this instead of just the sounds of the city, but maybe I'm too far away to get it.

On my last day in France, I wanted to write some but was urged by my new hostel pals to go on a free walking tour. I'm glad they did this, I'll try to do one for each new city I think, and at the start of the visit too. Standing outside, waiting for the tour to begin, my friend starts patting at his pant and sweater pockets in a panic. My phone's gone -- he says, not believing it yet. Fuck man, someone stole my phone. A pause for two quick breaths. Fuck that's not cool man, that's not cool. No no not now man, fuck. My hands jump to my own pockets instinctually, and I'm just as incredulous that they're still there. Wallet? Phone? Yes? Wait -- wallet, check, phone, check, money belt, for sure still strapped tightly to my sweaty stomach. Someone must have slipped behind him and nabbed it from his loose sweater pocket. I can't imagine what a wrench this would throw into your travels. Bad luck.


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